i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just high enough for therapy.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
