I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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