ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
