Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
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She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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