you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You ruined the universe
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
