so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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