theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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