Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
