Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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