On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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