Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
