Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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