just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
