i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
