He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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