Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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