So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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