That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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