Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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