Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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