she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
