Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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