I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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