69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We need a shit load of segways right now
Randomize
