It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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