We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
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Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
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I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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