Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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