at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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