Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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