lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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