I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Randomize
