I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
