There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
