Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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