Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
