you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
