I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
