Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
