Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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