i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
