So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
