A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
