I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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