that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You are a genius and a whore.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
