I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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