I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
