I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm jealous of your bromance
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
