well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
