He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize