Duck Duck Cougar?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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