you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
