Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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