How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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