the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize