I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
