There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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