Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
