she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
