is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize