took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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