At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
even my farts smell like vagina
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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