I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
