he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
