Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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