love makes seman taste better
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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