i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize