there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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