they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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