he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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