I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize