Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
worst night to have a conscience
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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