if you like me you must not know who I am
The maid of honor just puked.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
