That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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